Helga Marias sensitivity became a gift instead of a curse.
As 30 year old Helga Maria was basically performing 3 jobs within one and her perfectionist approach would add to her stress level. she would not only juggle all the responsibilities butshe also had a high standard for herself when it came to results.
The desire to be seen, her value to be recognized exhausted her.
Searching for the answer to her miserable existence she was digging deeper and deeper into the self-help, spiritual, truther, and therapy communities.
At that time - on top of her workplace situation - she was in love with a partner who would lie and cheat on her. An intense cocktail of devastation to her self worth and moral compass.
She began to implement some of the tools and values she learned along the way of being new into self help and psychology and got a clearer vision.
Becoming more self confident. having enough sleep. traveling the world. enjoying the sun whenever she would wish for. embodying deep self love. being seen and appreciated. doing work that is valued. respectful and loving relationships.
While on her journey to embody her vision, a new job offer was being made. In short: more money. less time. new people. a new team. a position to create new teams & culture from scratch… ‘everything’ she could wish for and getting out of the workplace she felt trapped in.
A small little voice though whispered:’ this is not the way. it’s even worse. the product is far away from being in alignment with your values.
she listened to the appealing LOUD VOICE instead.
So instead of following the whispering voice of her soul, she had been directly guided into the abyss of her ego and it took 4 months for her to land in burn out land.
A mentor on her way was a psychologist at her burn out treatment who would make her aware of her ‘good girl’ complex.
This hit her hard. The desires and needs of the others around her were always made more important than her own.
The psychologist added: ‘You’re very well equipped to be a very good counselor yourself though you gotta let go of taking responsibility where it is not yours otherwise you’ll not only face burning out again but miss the whole point of helping others too.”
Back home she alchemized her inheritance and by the society molded beliefs around success, money, self importance and eliminated the "good girl" complex. She made the choice she really, truly desired - to be the divine, wild femininr. This took courage since she was indoctrinated as the "good girl" by her grandmother whom she loved so dearly and passed away 2-3 years prior.
In her growing pains she would look out for people, concepts & spirituality that were already in “the know”.
She broke up with many habits that were building the ‘normal way of living’ for most people surrounding her the years prior.
Stopped listening to the news. was giving away her TV for good. quit smoking. became a vegetarian. didn’t drink alcohol at all. stopped listening to mainstream music.
Having achieved quite some transformation on her way she started to be of service as a psychological counselor. The sensitive, caring, sharp minded individual that she was embodying was seen and appreciated.
In her new approach to life she experienced gatherings with kindred spirits that were so full of adventure and magic and pulsating intense shared life experiences that the way of life of the collective around her was really frustrating to witness as she had experienced first hand how alive, loving and connected human beings have the potential to be.
One day she fell in love deeply. In former times as a sensitive and empathic being with unhealed trauma and self destructive beliefs she was used to being sucked into a relationship and lost herself along the way. She was convinced having released this pattern for good.
This man hurt her feelings along the way so deeply that she felt torn into the abyss once more.
She felt as if either she would dive full on into this core wound of hers - abandonment - or she would not be able to continue on this earth plane.
Her ego came up with all sorts of self defending strategies. projecting super horrible character traits on top of her partners behaviour just to make him so bad that she wouldn’t have to face her own wounding.
She nearly lost her gained freedom in her work as her intuition was abandoned by herself too during facing this hell of an experience.
Alchemizing the core wound of abandonment made her gain so much inner strength and she finally opened up to receive. Her inner wisdom was guiding her and when she lost touch with this innate strength she had people that did remind her..
During this intense inner and outer journey
to cultivate inner peace no matter what
to forgive deeply
to love and to be loved deeply and unapologetically
The antidote to her hell was a clear, fierce YES TO LIFE not matter the circumstances.
Helga Maria faced her inner landscapes on this journey deeply and became aware of her shadows, integrating them. She feels truly blessed to have had the courage to journey with her partner in the depth of human expression.
Helga Marias gift is guidance on embodying the OWN WAY OF LIVING, shedding layers that cover the real self and thus encouraging one to really connect with others, embodying the core essence and having the courage to live it.
Tools that assist this transformational journey
IFS (inner family system)
inner child work
shamanic journey within
essential healing technique
you're wondering if you
might be highly sensitive too?
here you can find out: